Incompetence: the stepping stone to success

Whats the deal with success? Well, the first timers who taste it absolutely love it...its like nothing else! Universal validation.
Mind you, 'success' and 'successful' aren't remotely connected. Its like those language aberrations like 'awe' and 'aweful'. Stealing ice-cream from the home freezer qualifies you as 'successful'. If you happen to own Baskin Robbins, then we are talking 'success'.

'Reach for the stars' they say...alright, and what do i do once i get there? Hopping on to another star doesn't seems as exciting now, does it? Success is self-defeating. Its a bit like leading your life at the high-jump championships. One success just raises the bar for the next, which does so for the next and so on. Your fate is pre-destined. Disappointment at not bettering your best! Peeved as hell, you think to yourself 'How can't I be better than me?'.
Of course, it can't be rationalized this easily...its like convincing someone that smoking is harmful. Its a no brainer for the non-smoker, but when was the last time someone quit 'cos it would kill them? Success like smoking, once achieved is addictive, and hazardous to health.

Hence forth, any congratulatory note should flash the message
'Statutory warning: Success is injurious to health'

Success is like the treadmill of competence...keep running towards competence and eventually pass out, bite the rubber mat, and roll back along the conveyor belt into the welcoming arms of incompetence. Or just stand still facing incompetence, and let the treadmill take you there in style!

Yes, its possible to be incompetent and successful. But you've got to have concrete belief in your inabilities.

Step 1: Get proactive. Find fellow incompetents at the work place. Convince them to quit your current organization before they get fired.
Step 2: Offer to work for the rival organization. Your boss will give you all a raise, as you bring the rival's profitability down, and his own profitability up simply by your absence.
Step 3: Offer tips to stock brokers on the rival's share price plummeting. Then buy loads when they hit rock bottom.
Step 4: Same as Step 1
Step 5: Sell shares at bumper profit once the company recovers from your damaging presence.